Intimacy and Freedom from Porn

Published on July 18, 2012 in relationships. 6 Comments Tags: .

Evening on Karl Johan Street – Edvard Munch, 1892

“Watchman, how much longer until morning? When will the night be over?” The watchman replies, “Morning is coming, but night will soon return.” Isaiah 21:11-12

 

I will write from my heart once again. It might cost me. It usually does.  It is sort of like going to battle without armor: There’s always a risk that it could end badly.

This is a difficult subject for me to address, one that I sensed I would have to write eventually. I tried to escape it, but the longer I resisted, the more unproductive I became, spending too much energy just to avoid the task at hand. As the Apostle Paul might acknowledge, it’s hard to kick against the pricks.

So here I am. I will do the best I can to discuss a tough subject in an honest way, but be patient with me as I meander into my points. It’s the only way I know to approach.

It’s a struggle, but I do care more about becoming whole than about building a successful career.  Having both would be nice, but if I have to choose I’d prefer to be a better version of myself. I say that until I run into the frustrations that come with faltering in the pursuit. Then I look to a career as a way to compensate for the broken parts, the parts that I can’t seem to fix.

Behind much of what I do, good or ill, is a desire to get close to others, to really connect. More often then I’d like to admit though, even my determined efforts to connect don’t work out, not really, and that hurts.

New York  Stories – Edward Hopper, 1939

 

I spend my day job (technically it’s a night job now that I work the midnight shift) communicating with others, either by phone or email. I am proud that I can help others solve their problems, but sometimes it is another reminder that my life involves lots of communicating and little connection.

Forming meaningful relationships is a challenge for me. By nature I’m guarded—part of that is due to some formative experiences I had growing up—so I have to work hard to undermine that tendency to keep a distance from others. I don’t always succeed.

To try to connect, but to be unable to do so, demoralizes me faster than anything else. Unfulfilled, the desire to connect still shouts for my attention, and that’s when I turn to a cheap substitute. Like porn.

Most of the time, porn is unappealing to me. It is void of any sense of a relationship, it is cheap, and it panders to the baser parts of us. Yet when the real relationships don’t work, porn becomes more of a temptation.

Separation – Edvard Munch, 1896

 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not someone who resorts to porn on a daily, or even a weekly, basis.  At this point, I give in to its allure maybe once or twice a month, but I want to do better. I want complete “freedom from porn.” 

Some of you might recognize that phrase. It comes from Steve Jobs when he was conversing with a Gawker blogger. In response to an inquiry, Steve mentioned a few freedom froms that the iPad allows, including porn. That phrase didn’t sit well with the writer, but Steve defended it, suggesting that porn might be more of a concern if the writer had kids.

The conversation ends with Steve’s now classic quote, “By the way, what have you done that’s so great? Do you create anything, or just criticize others work and belittle their motivations.” Appropriate that a conversation involving porn would end on that note. After all, why go and build something great when you can sit at home and watch porn all day long?

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the rise of the snarky hipster coincides with the rise of porn. By offering perpetual, easy gratification, porn distracts attention away from what it means to be a person of character, and if there is one defining characteristic of the snarky hipster it is his resounding lack of character.

Carnival – Max Beckmann, 1943

 

Reading former porn-star Shelley Lubben’s book Truth Behind the Fantasy of Porn: The Greatest Illusion on Earth was an eye-opening look at all the devious things that happen to produce the porn that so many of us consume  without a second thought.

Would you feel differently about pornography if you knew that the sexy girl in the video was crying uncontrollably before they started shooting, that the guy who seemed to be living the dream was going to die of an STD in the next few months? It happens. (Learn more about Shelley and her perspectives on porn by visiting www.shelleylubben.com. Be advised that the subject matter is sometimes discussed in a graphic manner, which might not be suitable for all audiences.)

It is worth mentioning too that some online porn sites are linked to other illegal activities like drugs, pirated software, viruses, malware, and even extremist hate groups. Why are these things not as prevalent with other popular internet attractions like cat videos, rainbows and such?

What is the possible connection between a porn site and a hate group? Well, it makes more sense if you allow the notion of evil into the discussion. If evil is too strong a word for you, substitute it for the phrase “a distortion of what is good or true.”

Perhaps you are thinking, well interesting thoughts, “but you did not persuade me, Nicholas. You did not persuade me!” As it happens, those are the exact lines that Idi Amin, played by Forest Whitaker, said to Nicholas Garrigan, played by James McAvoy, in The Last King of Scotland.

Forest Whitaker as Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland

 

What can I say? If you disagree with me on my blog, you do run the risk of getting compared to a bloodthirsty dictator, an evil man who looks good only from a distance. On the other hand, I get to assume the part of an inquiring type, as played by the actor who gave us the lovable Mr. Tumnus from The Chronicles of Narnia.

This is one of the few perks of writing this blog, so allow me my moment. Alternatively if you prefer, let me direct your attention to huffingtonpost.com. There you’ll find all kinds of riveting, possibly repackaged, stories and enough behind-the-scenes coverage of Sex in the City to keep you coming back for more!

Kidding aside, if you want to read more of my thoughts about why porn is a problem, check out this post: The Art/Porn Dilemma. The one I’m sharing here is more of a personal take. I just wanted to roughly sketch out some of the issues that I see with porn before explaining why I want to avoid it.

What it comes down to is that I don’t like the person I become when I’m on porn: I have no moral clarity, I’m consumed by desire, and it makes me doubt the existence of any kind of higher meaning or beauty. It is sort of like being stuck in a Pitbull video:

 

He doesn’t play football, but he touchdowns everywhere. Everywhere? Everywhere! Calle Ocho! 305 Represent! Yeah. You can tell that he really LOVES those ladies by the way he lowers his sunglasses and tilts them just so to show affection.

When the sound and the fury of his flashy ways fade away, there is something unsettling that remains:  The love that he sings about is not something lasting or selfless as suggested by the world’s major religions but something disposable and selfish. In other words, it is a sinister inversion of heaven’s greatest gift. A cheap substitute. Pornography.

(For the sake of full disclosure, I am still a little bitter about the loathsome Miami Heat winning the NBA Championship this year, and so I do take umbrage at the city’s esteemed cultural contributions, whether they be arrogant athlete celebs or accomplished philosophers of love like Pitbull.

As a sports fan, I shouldn’t be too bitter though. The NY Giants, the professional team I most cherish, won the Superbowl in the same year. Truly, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, as they say. On that note, didn’t the Rolling Stones do a song about the source behind Miami’s heat? Something da-da, puzzling you about the nature of some game, da-da. Anyway. Focus Nick, focus.)

Regardless of where he is from, Pitbull and celebs of his caliber are, like pornographers, peddling a cheap imitation in the name of love. I don’t want the imitation. I want the real thing.

Summer Evening – Edward Hopper, 1947

 

I heard a Middle Eastern woman explain why she chose to wear a hijab to cover her head. She critiqued the modern Western idea that a woman isn’t truly liberated until she flaunts her body in public like merchandise. Then she explained that by wearing a hijab she is setting aside something special, something sacred, only for her husband. That kind of thinking, if not the hijab itself, is kind of sexy, I have to admit.

I want to be porn free so that if I ever get married I can say as much to my wife, that I value our relationship enough not to look elsewhere for sexual gratification. Even if I don’t get married, which is a real possibility at this point, I’d rather turn my attention to more enriching  pursuits. It’s old-world thinking, I know, but considering the alternative, that’s not so bad.

Are you surprised that my go-to drink in tumultuous times is an Old Fashioned? You shouldn’t be.

Chop Suey – Edward Hopper, 1929

 

But. There is always a but, isn’t there? But, there is that broken side of me, that unfulfilled desire to connect with others which sometimes takes a distorted form. I try to keep it in check, but it is there in the background, eyeing each heartache or frustration that comes my way for a chance to gain influence.

It is inherent in my struggles with intimacy, in the mistakes I’ve made in regards to sex, in the resistance that made this post so hard to write.

I don’t know that I can overcome that broken part of me on my own. Remember that scene in Drugstore Cowboy where Matt Dillon’s character is close to recovery and those thugs with grotesque masks come in and beat him down, as if hell’s demons have come forth to reclaim lost territory? Some days it feels sort of like that.

 

I recently finished the book Broken by William Cope Moyers, son of the esteemed journalist and commentator Bill Moyers. In it he chronicles his struggle to overcome his addiction to crack cocaine. I’ve never done crack, but I do relate to the struggles that addicts face.

The first screenplay I ever wrote, Don’t Stop Believing, was written to offer hope to addicts, something that seemed lacking in the numerous well crafted films on the subject like Drugstore Cowboy or Requiem for a Dream.  So, I took particular interest when William described the secret to how he finally stayed sober. He confessed that he could not have remained sober without the help of others.

I don’t believe that was false modesty talking. It came from a humble, penetrating realization that he never could have become the positive influence on society that he has become on his own.

That stuck with me.

It is not an easy thing to ask for help. Aron Ralston has to cut off a part of himself, quite literally, before he can bring himself to ask for help at the end of the film 127 Hours. That’s why it is so remarkable that the characters in Mad Men ask for help from the very first episode. The pilot is peppered with phrases like, “please help me,” “I could use a little help here,” “I want to help,” and “we should help out,” and the notion of helping others is explored in interesting ways from one season to the next.

And so, this little number is dedicated to the Mad Men team and to Matthew Weiner, the showrunner:

I’ll send an SOS to the show.
I’ll send an SOS to the show.
I hope that Weiner gets my
I hope that Weiner gets my

 

Wait a minute. I’m looking at my notes here, and it seems like the word “help” is actually not to be found in the pilot of Mad Men. Hmm. I guess I was thinking of another show. (For the sake of simplicity, let’s call that other show, whatever it is, the Not Mad Men Show?) How clumsy of me.

Now then, the notes on the Mad Men pilot. Here they are. Let’s see, the guys go up to the 23rd floor where Sterling Cooper is located and then drama ensues, etc, etc. Oh look, a quote: “you’re born alone and you die alone.” No, that’s not it. Here we are. This is what I was thinking of, “What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.”

Nighthawks – Edward Hopper, 1942

 

Huh. Reading that again, I realize that it is actually not a quote about helping people. Bizarre.

I guess Mad Men is not really about helping people after all, but the show does have a certain appeal in how it gets to the truth, ugly though it may be, behind the illusions that people put forth, particularly those in the media. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d rather have ugly truth than phony pleasantries or half-hearted convictions that aren’t backed up by actions.

I mention a show like Mad Men because it does provide hearty philosophical opposition to my position. If love is really just an invented word meant to sell nylons and other such things, then why not indulge in selfish gratifications like porn?

To be clear, I do respect Weiner for the quality of his work and the consistency of his actions. In June’s issue of GQ, the one with Fassbender on the cover, Weiner talks about how he routinely puts his name on scripts that were written by others, because he does much of the rewriting and wants others to know that he had a big part in shaping the final version of the episode. That’s thematically consistent with his show, and it does take some courage to act in such a way that is certain to garner ridicule.

In my experience, the idealists are not so consistent in their actions. Two conclussions can be drawn from that. Either the idealists are lying for the sake of selling an illusion, or perhaps it takes more effort to sustain something good, and perhaps people need help in living up to and preserving their highest ideals.

A few resonating, sour experiences with seeming idealists leave me receptive to the first possibility, but the idealist in me begs me to fight for the second.

I’ve never considered myself to be a good man, but I do admire those types of guys who seem to have a certain grace and dignity about them that defies my cynicism, and there are a few lucky souls who do find a way  to make loving relationships last a lifetime.

I would like to be such a man one day; I would like to have such a relationship, but I don’t think I can get there without your help. Will you help me?

 

 Lovers of Vence – Marc Chagall

 

In case you are wondering, I am displaying copies of artwork based on my understanding of fair use principles. The images are there for educational purposes, to call attention to culturally significant artwork and to illustrate, through discussion, themes that seem to be inherent in that art. 

It takes me a little longer to write the kinds of posts I prefer to write, and sometimes my schedule gets complicated, so I can’t promise to have new posts available on a consistent schedule. That’s why I encourage you to sign up by email. You can do that by clicking here.

If you’re following along by  email, you’ll know right away when I have a new post waiting for you.  It is very easy to unsubscribe, and you won’t receive anything unrelated to my blog.

Lastly, if you appreciate my writing, why not write a comment or share the post with a friend? It would encourage me to keep sharing some of my heart with you.

 

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.

Zappos: Happiness in a Hopeless Place, A Love Story

Published on June 6, 2012 in business. 3 Comments Tags: , , , .

This may be the only time I time I title a post after a Rihanna song. It’s not exactly like I’m saving to see her in concert anytime soon, but her music is hard to avoid, and it is catchy. As they say, when in Rome. That is what they say, is it not, my friends, countrymen, and well … Romans?

No, that’s not a savvy business opening about the highly regarded billion-dollar company. Nor is it the classic scene-kid, hipster opener. Be that as it may, I gave you Rihanna and Shakespeare (sort-of) in one paragraph. Plus there are hints of what’s to come. This is not going to be the typical Zappos write-up, folks. It’s more of a personal take, but I hope it’ll still be informative in its own way. 

There are more significant reasons for the title beyond the Rihanna tie-in. Part of it relates to Jason Calacanis’s opening comments about Zappos in this video:

(If you’re only going to watch one or two videos in this post, hold off on this one, but this is a good video to watch after you’ve finished reading and want to learn more about the business side of Zappos.) 

 

As Jason explains, CEO Tony Hsieh made the once boring shoe business seem cool and turned the oft-dismissed customer service position into something desirable and joyous. Those kinds of dramatic reversals get my attention, but was it all just hype? I was curious enough to pick up Tony’s book Delivering Happiness.

Technically Tony Hsieh did not found Zappos. Nick Swinmum did that in 1999, but Tony is the guy who turned the company ethos into the defining attribute of Zappos. That’s why Tony’s book is such a revealing glimpse into what makes Zappos so special.

After all, there are lots of online fashion vendors, but there is only one Zappos. Why is that?

In his book, Tony explains that the company’s success is due to its core values and its sense of purpose. Zappos does not exist just to make money. “Zappos is about delivering happiness to the world,” he asserts.

When I first read the book, I was a little skeptical. That’s a clever slogan, but how is it different from all the other self-serving things that business leaders or celebrities say about their endeavors? After all, don’t most companies have a list of core values and grand mission statements that have very little to do with how they operate on a daily basis?

Still, I kept hearing things about how Zappos was different. Maybe a closer look was merited.

 

In Delivering Happiness, Tony mentions that Zappos prints an annual Culture Book where employees freely share their thoughts about the company and its core values. The employees’s comments are not edited, and this Culture Book is freely available to anyone who requests it. (You can get your own copy here.)

OK, that’s a little different.

Eventually I received my own copy. I was expecting mostly polished marketing prose with a few choice employee quotes, but the book is almost entirely comprised of quotes from employees, vendors, and customers of Zappos interspersed among photos of Zapponians socializing or doing zany things.   (The word “Zapponians” is an official company term used to showcase the unique denizens of Zappos: http://blogs.zappos.com/tags/zapponians.)

Even more surprising was how often the company’s core values showed up in playful graphical arrangements. It’s almost as if these core values aren’t meant to be buried with their brothers at the bottom of a bureaucrat’s filing cabinet. They are placed front and center, challenging observers to measure the company’s success against the values it claims. Here they are :

1. Deliver WOW Through Service

2. Embrace and Drive Change

3. Create Fun and a Little Weirdness

4. Be Adventurous, Creative, and Open-Minded

5. Pursue Growth and Learning

6. Build Open and Honest Relationships With Communication

7. Build a Positive Team and Family Spirit

8. Do More With Less

9. Be Passionate and Determined

10. Be Humble

 

When I re-read Delivering Happiness to prepare for this post, I realized that the book is sort of an origin story about how the values of Zappos came into existence.

Tony establishes transparency right from the start when he admits that he’d rather be grammatically incorrect than write in such a way as to distort the way he normally talks. He talks about how he discovered his passion for creating memorable experiences for others and how he’s come to value creativity and humility. Even the way he quotes sources as disparate as Ghandi and Winnie the Pooh serves to reinforce the core values he identifies behind Zappos.

There is something inspiring about people, about institutions who are devoted to more than the obvious. After all, when was the last time you remember thinking, “oh hey, you do everything possible to get more money, power, and sex? How very original and inspired of you!”

In contrast, idealists by their very nature encourage the belief in a higher purpose. If these types will fight for ideals, then maybe there really are ideals worth fighting for. But let’s be honest, idealists make it tougher for the rest of us to justify our more complacent ways.

I want to be an idealist,  but I’ve experienced enough to know that life doesn’t always work out as we hope it should. And so, peddlers of purpose like Zappos have to get past my cynical side before they have a chance at my heart. I’m not the only one like that.

I’ll tell you how I tested the ideals of Zappos in just a moment, but first allow me to make to make a quick reference to the United States. There is a connection: Zappos claims to be a values-driven company, and the United States is considered by many historians to be the first country that came into existence not because of ethnic ties but because of a shared set of values.

When the Founders risked their lives to declare that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights” the world took notice. A Declaration of Independence aimed at the world’s most powerful king who strove to control the lives of the American Colonists was indeed a bold and heretofore unseen gesture.

Eventually the novelty of the Declaration wore off and cosmopolitan observers started to  wonder why a nation formed around the inherent freedoms and rights of mankind also sustained the institution of slavery.  Did these Americans really believe their rhetoric? Some of them did. They proved as much by fighting for their ideals, when it would have been more convenient to do otherwise.

That’s what I wanted to find out about Zappos. Would they actually live up to their ideals when it might be easier to do otherwise? Early research suggested that they already did.

The company offers free shipping both ways and a 365-day return policy to make it a better experience for those uncertain about buying online. They have 24-hour support, 7 days a week, and they prominently display their phone number on their site, even though burying it several links deep would reduce call volume, which would translate into less money spent on support.

In 2009, Zappos finally made the list of Fortune’s 10p 100 Companies to Work For. Back then they came in at No. 23. Now they’re No. 11 on the list, so they must be doing something to keep their employees happy.

Still, I had to find out for myself if they were the real deal, so on May 29th I called Zappos for the very first time with an unusual request. Here’s what happened:

 

I’m fairly certain that the Zappos employees were never trained on what to do if a caller requests to do a song over the phone. (If they do train in such matters, I’d really like to read the policy that explains how to handle the situation!)

Besides, if Zappos employees were trained just to maximize profit, I don’t imagine the song would have happened. At the very least, Kimberly would have put me on hold to check with her manager, but to her credit she went along with my request in a good-natured manner and performed beautifully in an unexpected situation. That’s what can happen when you train based on values rather than policies.

Kimberly was adventurous, creative, and open-minded and was willing to do something a little weird in the pursuit of fun. She more than embodied the company’s core values.

It is also worth mentioning that I called in the early evening, about the time when West-Coast callers would be getting out of work and calling. More than likely, Kimberly already went through a wide range of calls by the time she got to me, but she still sounded friendly and engaged.  I bought this bag to say thanks.

 

The Zappos call was the first time I’ve discussed the concept behind my upcoming short. I’m a little nervous about it. If it doesn’t get a good reception, I probably won’t have the heart to do another project for a while, so the song wasn’t just a silly exercise. It was me taking a risk in sharing something that has a strong personal significance to me.

Sure, there was a chance to gain some publicity, but there was also a chance that I’d fail miserably and feel really foolish. I took a risk because I figured Zappos might really believe in the values they claim. Needless to say, there’s not another company in the world with which I could imagine doing an impromptu song with a customer service rep.

I actually did two songs with Kimberly. The second one I did was about my sister who is getting married. I was undecided about sharing the second song. I thought about just sharing it with my sister. I don’t mind looking foolish, but I don’t want to do something to cast a bad light on her. Plus I didn’t want to do something that felt like I was using her wedding for personal gain.

I wrestled with this for a while, but then I figured I would include it because it might help others. The societal impulse to purge anything personal from our professional interactions makes me a little sad. Isn’t it more honest to acknowledge the people who inspire us to be the best versions of ourselves than to pretend that we only care about profit margins and growth rates while working?

(Update: Now that the wedding is over, I’ve added some photos that I took of my sister during the wedding and the build up to it. The photos are another way to nicely accent the personal side of a company like Zappos and this post. To entirely separate the business side of things from the personal is a very bizarre modern tendency, one that causes unnecessary problems for both sides.)

Corinne by the lake where Sean first proposed. The swans were also there when he proposed. 

 

Also, why does everything we do in public have to be perfect? I lost some of the joy of photography when I felt like I should only share photos that were of a certain professional quality. I spent unnecessary time trying to finesse casual shots so that they might be acceptable to critics, and I started taking less photos as a result.

Fortunately, a few talented photographers helped me realize that it is OK to share the occasional snapshots along with the more polished one. If others can’t distinguish between casual shots and professional work, then to hell with them.

I do not consider myself to be a great singer, but I do enjoy singing. In regards to the song about my sister, I sang in an earnest way about someone who means a lot to me. Besides, I’d like to think that my little song embodies some of the Zappos values. Specifically it is honest and relationship minded, and it engenders a family spirit. With that said, here is the song:

 

I didn’t explain as much in the video, but a large part of Na-Na & Water Bottle involved improvising a song based on whatever was randomly discovered while scrubbing through radio stations. It makes perfect sense then that a tribute to Na-Na & Water Bottle would involve a randomly selected Zappos support representative.

After the song, I ordered a purse that I thought my sister would enjoy. (Don’t tell her. The wedding is not until June 16th. Maybe after that I’ll post pictures!)

Corinne and Sean by the lake. 

 

When Kimberly realized that the purse was for my sister’s wedding, she arranged for expedited shipping, so I got the package in less than a week from when I placed the order. I’ll admit it: they wowed me.

After I hung up with Kimberly, I remember being in a better mood than usual. I walked around and hummed to myself random bits of music. The Zappos team had succeeded in delivering happiness to me even before my package arrived. 

This story almost didn’t happen though. Prior to writing this, I had shared the videos with Sean, one of the leads at Zappos. The company had treated me with consideration, plus I was uncertain about how the videos would be received, so I figured I wouldn’t post them if the Zappos people hated them.

Sean responded promptly, surprising me with her enthusiasm and a refreshing lack of business formality that normally comes from manager types. So far so good. But, there were legal concerns. Oh.

Corinne and the wedding photographer get some shots before the wedding.

 

Sean agreed to check with the legal department to see if anything could be done to alleviate those concerns. After a few days had passed I figured that they weren’t going to allow the videos to be posted. This was going to be another almost for me.

I know a little something about almosts. So many of my relationships and my endeavors have been almosts. It almost worked out with her and her and her. That project was almost good enough to win, to get selected, to get off the ground. Almost. They do take some of the fight out of me, those ever-present almosts. I don’t know how many more of them I can take before I stop trying.

Every indication was starting to suggest that the Zappos videos would be another almost. What if the same thing happens with my short comedy?

The maid of honor, my other sister Parthena, helps Corinne get into position. 

 

That very thinking led me to Monsieur’s, an upscale seafood restaurant in Baton Rouge, just one day before I started writing this. Being alone, I treated myself to an $80 lunch.

I’ve never had an $80 lunch before; I’m not usually an extravagant guy, but things have been, shall we say challenging, of late. Also Monsieur’s makes excellent oysters. And Bloody Marys. And bread pudding. Etc.

That day, I came very close to doing something I would have regretted. I wasn’t in a completely hopeless place, but it was pretty close. Then, I got another email from Sean after lunch. She said that I could use the videos if I removed the Zappos logos. Doable, I thought.

Corinne and Sean share a dance. 

 

Then it hit me: Zappos had gone above and beyond in the pursuit of my happiness, so why couldn’t I try a little harder to ward off the negative emotions that haunted me?

So that’s how a billion-dollar company helped me to do the right thing. Thanks to Zappos this story has a happy ending.  At least for now, but the rest is still unwritten.

Closing thoughts

 

Visit www.deliveringhappiness.com to learn more about the practices that Zappos uses to spread happiness. It’s like they say, “We truly believe that together, we can change the world.” Maybe we can, Zappos. Maybe we can.

Corinne and Sean share a kiss at Fenway. They took me there for a tour on my birthday. 

 

It takes me a little longer to write the kinds of posts I prefer to write, and sometimes my schedule gets complicated, so I can’t promise to have new posts available on a consistent schedule . That’s why I encourage you to sign up by email. You can do that by clicking here.

If you’re following along by  email, you’ll know right away when I have a new post waiting for you.  It is very easy to unsubscribe, and you won’t receive anything unrelated to my blog.

Lastly, if you appreciate my writing, why not write a comment or share the post with a friend? It would encourage me to keep sharing some of my heart with you.

As always, thanks for reading and God bless.